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-insert letter date later-

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Dear Padfoot,

Dear Padfoot,

I've been avoiding your last letter, I know, and we didn't get to talk about it while you were here and I'm sorry but this weekend, well, I don't need to tell you how messed up and weird and insane it was because you were here with me when I was messed up and weird and insane; you're always here with me when I'm like that. Like this. Like...I don't know what I'm saying, right now, so if this letter is very jumbled, please forgive. I just...this weekend...I don't know what it is about summer moons that take more out of me than winter moons do, but they do. Merlin, they do.

Despite everything, despite me being...well...what I am...I guess...it was really good to see you. I've been feeling so sidetracked since the Head Boy news came. I know it's not really, I mean, I knew I wasn't going to get it, I knew James would, I think, in my head, it was the logical choice of course but...something in me...wanted it. And now, it's like, all my hard work doesn't matter.

And now, it's as if, besides, well, besides you blokes, of course, besides...besides the Marauders, I feel as if I've got nothing but the map to look forward to next term. (I still can't hear the elephants...)

We've got to finish it Padfoot. I won't leave that school without a finished, beautiful map in our clutches.

As well - what have you decided about your parents? Are you going to go, or are you just going to sit on your arse at James's parents place?


P.S. I'm utterly bored without you. And if you go on again about me doing boring things, well...I...I'll be sad. Do you really want to make me sad? You'll have to compensate with chocolate, if you do, you know, and if you're prepared then by all means, make me sad!

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